i broke my finger this weekend. well, it's not like broken off, i still have it, and it's not really broken-broken, just has a little teeny fracture in it but i'm gonna milk it for all it's worth. i may resort to using crutches. and just randomly asking for sponge baths. who knows, someone might take the bait..... i blame it all on my friend edna. "let's go rollerblading" she says. "it'll be fun" she says......yeah, yeah, it's all fun and games until someone breaks a hip. and i'm not entirely sure i didn't break my hip. or cracked my pelvis. and i need my pelvis, know what i'm sayin'? *groucho marx eyebrow wiggle* i hadn't skated since i was ten and that was with the more stable old-school 4-corner wheeled skates and even then my primary braking system was to grab on to someone and if i was going too fast then aiming for someone and taking them down with me so they could break my fall..... so 5 minutes. 5 minutes is all it took for me to make a complete ass of myself. i rollerbladed. i fell. i got up. i rollerbladed. i fell. done. i only needed five minutes of that to remember i'm old and brittle and that our time would be much better spent at the bar guzzling margaritas. it's the natural order of things. we're mexican, we don't rollerblade, we drink. so we drank. .....where we watched some woman try to throw a drink in a guys face but it was a frozen margarita so it just sorta plopped on the table. GIN AND TONIC LADY!! gin and tonic is the way to go if you wanna throw a drink in someone's face!
organic shmorganic, all i want to know is can i eat the whole box and not gain weight? come up with that nabisco. who cares about organic flour???? organic fat looks just the same as .....um, well, the-opposite-of-organic fat.
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