ganymede on loan at 12:52 PM

it's going to be 83 degrees today. 83!!! that's only 7 degrees away from 90!!! and 90 degrees is only 10 degrees away from 100 degrees, so it's basically gonna be 100 degrees today.....100 degrees the day after christmas......stinking, hot, hell hole. at least yesterday there were cookies and presents to keep your mind off of the fact that even the birds were walking around with wet washcloths on their foreheads. i suppose i put up with the heat because of things like this morning. i went to the store and as i was walking in a guy held the door open for me and when i thanked him he said "yes, ma'am" and tipped his cowboy hat at me. where else but texas would that happen? i've lived on both the west and east coasts and i can assure you nothing like that ever happened there. in california you're lucky if the cashier doesn't give you a nasty look when you go to pay for your m&m's because you're interrupting her phone call. there is such a thing as too nice though....there's this one woman at a gas station i go to often and the woman at the cash register always calls me "baby".....she's plump, has hair like clark gable and smells like moth-balls...every time she calls me baby i feel a little violated. there's also a guy at another store i go to that always gives me free coffee....i suppose i should tell him he's barking up the wrong tree but hey free coffee is free coffee....

my batty old aunt thought there were two moons out yesterday. she was too busy yapping to notice that the road curved and when she looked out of the window of the car she saw the moon on the other side of the window and actually said "look! the moon moved! it was over by the h-e-b and now it's on this side! or is there two moons? maybe there's two moons tonight." yes, tía, the governor ordered two moons today because it's christmas but we'll have to return it to jupiter tomorrow because it's a little expensive to rent a moon. .......if i had told her that, she would have bought it, but i was too busy trying to recite the preamble to the constitution in my head to drown out her and my mom arguing about who is fatter than who.